1998-02-13
-Guarding the pee (skiing equipment)
-intro
-buying condoms
-Glenn Humplik is hiding
-Tom talks with some striking Ontario teachers.
-The clam digger skiff
-Gas engine in the mall
-blind date with David bowie
-interview with Aliea Hewert from express connections-
-NYPD GREEN (greasy cop)
-bowling trophy (your the champ!)
-band: local rabbits
1998-02-20
-prime minister can you sign my balls
-intro
-everyone likes fights (magneto vs. wolverine)
-the southpole crew
-meat vs. mug
-the bag lady (time to clean the city)
-hugs
-interview with the butcher (lambs head fun) Russell Chuadary
-Ashley Maciassac (im Ashley Friggin Macissac)
-pump it up ya'll (hand held rap)
-Toms Grandma, and the infamous briefcase of Dereks
-band: Bloody Chickets
1998-02-27
-beach tanning (know what im saying)
-intro
-oxymen girls are pretty
-someone took Glenn's watch (but I have a watch motch motch motch)
-hugs
-clockwork orange (hustlin dude)
-interview with the guy from the "Waffle house"
-Scubahood
-dirty pictures (Glenn is big in the gay community)
-buying condoms part 2
-band: This minor tremble
1998-03-06
-do ya think IM sexy?
-intro -interview with the spanish sailor
-Glenn shows his ass (Money Bags Humplik) + Tom sings "Children"
-this is a message from Don Carleon! (cow head at 3am)
-Where are you going. aka: Tom vs. Old man!
-Lord Sheffield razor guest. Shaving Toms Legs
-climbing palm trees in the sun
-band: Hot Piss
1998-03-13
-hollywood blvd. bums talk with Tom
-intro
-the Canterbury tales
-fire in parents bed at 3am
-toms parents gueststar, and fire extinguish tom and Glenn
-tom raps with some sisters. They think he is french, Italian, or polish. But he is not jewish.
-fishing for the vacuum shark
-vandex guest.. tom sniffs it and goes ballistic
-have no fear, burning feet man is here
-rappin with yet another sister.. tom dances free style
-cow brain boat
-band: Scratching post
1998-03-20
-Tom solves the OJ simpson murder mystery
-intro
-hockey guy
-tom with the old man makeup. Dave Allston is ejected and banned from the show (good)
-pissed off scientist
-Phil giroux's bachelor tips. use paper plates and plastic bowls. bed lots of women. make tom laugh.. etc
-tom neilson, guest.. whipping onions at the tom green/brad pitt painting on the wall
-NYPD GREEN : ballistics... "now eat my ass!"
-3am radio easter egg hunt at Toms parents house
-toms grandmother gives tongue brushing techniques
-kiki and the tv cans on the trees
-band: salmonblaster
1998-03-27
-Tom, Derek, and Ray run outta gas in mexico. tom does impressions for people waiting for the gas
-intro
-Jimmy cab, makes replica of earth. sends man hole covers around the world
-Glenn gives instructions for tom to be funny. tom sprays food and sauce on the audience..chaos
-big ben
-ufo's are real. Tom is visited by the "raelien" cult
-guest Joanne, the nail gun expert
-a date with god
Glenn Humplik: the sucker. Glenn is forced to by a young girl radiohead tickets, and in return tom gets him a 'sucker' tshirt
-tom interrupts an Elvis fan concert.. dances and gets people pissed
-band: short fall
1998-04-03
-tom plays a bus driver.. who makes a young boy walk past his stop
-intro
-breadheads return: tom hassles people who he thinks are is mommy. "are you my mother"
-Foster Children Tug of war. Alimotou
-Glenn's day of justice, toms revenge
-tom the movie usher
-guest: some relationship expert
-condom buyer, with the little engine
-tom in drag. swimming with fish and sharks in the ocean
-toms new joke.. sidewalk headbanging
-band: starling
-tom has fun at the Hollywood sign, but its raining
1998-04-10
-dancing man, and tom
-intro
-fun with science, the urinating scientist
-tic tac toe with the audience, yelling at them "you stupid dummy"
-rappin with the wheelchair brother in Chicago, talking about cheese
-hockey guy
-foreign cultures, with your host: Jim Cab
-guest: ceiling fan expert
-the duster
-the apology (skinny pig): with derek and tom, apologizing for being filthy liars
-band: spinecracker
1998-04-17
-dennis woodruff, the struggling actor
-intro
-tom fulfills a dream: meeting Alex trebek
-a game: stinky whiskey buttons with the audience
-rappin with the wheelchair brother in Chicago, talking about batteries
-Derek Harvies impounded car is found in Kingston, and he is almost arrested for hopping a fence
-guest: soap dispenser expert
-hip hop woman (tom in drag.. kicks it fresh)
-ceiling fan: sending hotdogs around the world
-driving with a cab driver, who is a masturbation expert
-band: boywonder
1998-04-17
-Hollywood gay old man
-intro
-the power of the camera: the drunk imbecile that tom and Phil met in a bar. Who is tied up, and covered with milk
-guest: car starter expert. Tom covers his face with tinfoil and screams at him
-Humplik: an astronaut in training
-tom walks with a swagger
-Phil's pickup techniques.. trying to get tom a hug and kiss, phil practically humps a chick
-cookin a live lobster with Glenn and tom
-NYPD GREEN : the smallest father. "your father is dead asshole"
-harassing a nice pakistani man. "say you love the tom green show" "i dove de domb gren shiew"
-band: bertha does moosejaw
-toms eyes and talking with ray, as credits roll
1998-04-24
-rotting head cartoon guy.. Eagle ate his brain
-intro
-fashion police, with tom, some girl, and toms ex
-tom calls audience members house, and tells their parents that he is screwing their daughter, doing cocaine, etc
-3am , the slut mobile
-mexican boner in toms pants
-pro fur lady
-mc face, video for "slaughta ya oughta"
-standup comedy loser
-celebrity watching: jean claude vandamme, vanilla ice, hitler, and Leslie neilson
-fun with street musicians
-band: sully
1998-05-01
-shock at the marilyn manson concert
-intro
-come blow with me
-Guest: Jean-marc from Ritchies welding
-Searching Mexico for Toms cross dressing brother
-cartoon guy and his bag of eyes
-Hip Hop camping
-Breaking Wayne Gretzkys records
-Fun Game: Hair + Vaseline game with audience girl Jody
-Tom Green Land
-the philophser
-NYPD GREEN: Under Desk
-band: brandon walsh